Can't Stand the Idea of Being Normal
It has been about a year since I first wrote to you about being concerned about my constant daydreaming and boredom in school. I found your response very helpful and was hoping you could help me again.
I’m a grade 10 student and we just finished picking courses for our next year. I have chosen a tough work load but hopefully it will keep me busy. The problem is that there is a lot of pressure on us all to think about what sort of jobs/careers we want to do for the rest of our lives, but I have absolutely no clue what I want to do. All I know is that I just can’t stand the idea of being normal, going to university or college, getting a job, maybe having a family and then eventually dying.
It’s really hard for me to explain. I just don’t understand how people can be happy with living their lives as one of the 7 billion people on earth. As John Lennon puts it, “A working class hero is something to be,” but I feel like I need to be special, I need to be different, while at the same time, I honestly don’t really want too much attention. This probably makes me sound rather self-centered but I’m really not. I know the whole saying that, “everyone is special” and “you can make a difference,” but I feel like these have such a small reach in the grander scale of the world.
No matter how strong your opinion is on a subject, there is only so much you can do about anything and that usually isn’t much compared to how much that subject affects people world wide, (such as the violations of basic human rights, global warming, terrorism etc). The idea that everyone else has their own thoughts, opinions and perceptions, but I can only see things through my own eyes, makes me feel very limited in what I can know, learn and understand because I can only ever see things through my eyes.
These thoughts have been going round and round in my head for a while now and I can’t get them out. I want to understand why I feel like this all the time. Do other people think this way? I’m just getting frustrated that other people seem to be able to accept their place in the world but I can’t. How can I learn to accept being “normal?”
Thanks for your time.
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